I'm a Big Kid Now

Haha. Please tell me the Pampers jingle popped into your head when you read that title...it certainly did for me when I thought of it! But this post has nothing to do with diapers or commercial jingles so I will move on.

There are a lot of “events” people attribute to becoming an adult: buying a house, getting a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, paying all your own bills, consistently going to bed before 11pm (okay, that was a joke) and most would agree turning a certain age does not mean anything. You get the idea. But what really constitutes being an adult? In the above examples, all I see is financial independence. I guess what got me thinking about this was a discussion my house was having last night. Being only the 3^rd group of RdC volunteers in Monte Sinai and the first with retreat groups, we've had to be the pioneers in a lot of things, including policies. Last night, we were trying to determine how (and if) to open up the retreat house for community use. As the discussion bore on, I realized something: we were making a decision for others. True, we have 3+ months left and we could have been forming a policy for that time, but instead we were talking about and advocating for future year-long volunteers and the Mt. Sinai community. One might say, “Well this is a very long term thing, and you aren't staying, so of course you would think of others” and I would agree. But this conversation was only the light bulb for me. Looking back over the last 8 months, they are filled with decisions and discussions based on the impact on others, from people within our house to the greater community, retreat groups to individuals. This program and this year is so infused with an intentionality and focus on community (the greater good) that you are encouraged (if not forced ;-P) to grow up.

Last year, by the initial definition, I was living as an adult. I had a job. I paid rent and bills on a house and often went to bed early. All of this while attending college full-time, which I also paid for myself. The thing is, as a senior in college, everything I did, all the decisions I made, were for me. Now, as I live in Ecuador, in someone else's house that I don't pay for, where I do not have a paying job and therefore cannot pay for anything else (U.S. equivalent =living with and being supported by Mom and Dad with no job), I am closer to being an adult now than I could have dreamed of last June.

I don't think being an adult has anything to do with finances (except maybe managing them) but instead becoming accountable for your life and your decisions: responsibility, impact awareness, selflessness, and striving to create a better life for your fellow human beings. Don't rush into it; it's not for everyone at anytime and being a kid is healthy, for awhile. But maybe you've been fooling yourself with your 5-6 figure pay check, nice house and car that you've been living an adult life. If that is the case, I challenge you to step up and into something more because I can tell you there are children (in age), who I encounter every day, burdened with early adulthood, who could teach you a thing or two.

“Fun Title Here”

So a little update on life.

I miss my kids. A LOT. And now that Colonia is over and Refuerzo has yet to start again, I am definitely on kid withdrawal. Yes, I get a little here and there with neighbors and I was able to go to Semillas de Mostaza (one of RdC's afterschool programs in Duran) for the first time with our last retreat group, but it isn't the same. I have also now learned that Refuerzo will likely be moving locations from the Via Daule (an hour bus ride away) to Mt. Sinai. *expected excitement here* I am absolutely excited for work being closer (yay less travel time!) and having a program like this nearby so that kids from my neighborhood can actually go. But part of me wishes they would wait until August. Haha. *insert selfishness here* If we move, and it really looks like we will, it is going to be an entirely new group of kids - who I am sure will be wonderful and I am excited to get to know - but I have been waiting since January to be with “my” kids again...to give them huge hugs and talk about their vacation and help them with homework....to eventually say our last goodbye. On top of my own selfish thoughts and wants, those great kids who I worked with for 5+ months, who need Refuerzo, will no longer have that haven every afternoon and I have a hard time justifying that to myself. I know the Salesian Project works to reach the poorest of the poor and the rationale is that all the kids who go to Refuerzo at the current location can afford bus fare so we should be striving to be located in a neighborhood of great need where those who cannot afford to pay for a bus can attend, but those other kids are still in need and we are abandoning them. Okay, 'abandon' is a really strong word as my boss, Jefferson, does social work with a lot of them outside of Refuerzo, which I believe will continue, but nonetheless it is how I feel. Sooo....Refuerzo is supposed to start with the new school year (April 16^th – pushed back a week by the government due to the intensity of this rainy season) and we are still waiting to get the final decision from the “big boss”. I'll update when I know more!

Que mas? Well, we've had more retreat groups come and go :) St. John's Prep and Walsh Jesuit High Schools here in Mount Sinai and St. John's HS, Villanova, Fordham and Jesuit HS in Duran. I am continually blown away by the awesome people who come devote a week to experiencing our lives here, loving on our neighbors and friends, learning about the Ecuadorian life and culture and teaching me (and my fellow volunteers) so much. I am continuing to get a lot of life out this job. I love being able to be with the groups, hearing their observations and reflections, seeing kids light up when they see them and just being a witness to what God is doing here. The other huge plus, which I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before but I am just absolutely loving, is all my extra “big community” time! I have truly found 2^nd and 3^rd homes in AJS and Arbolito. It is so much fun! Each house has a completely different dynamic and it just so cool to be a part of that sometimes.

I refuse to say anything regarding my health as it hardcore jinxed me last time...so let's just say that I have nothing to report....Gracias a Dios.

Feliz Pascua! Happy Easter! Just got done with a beautiful, meaningful Holy Week. Holy Thursday Mass, Stations of the Cross en vivo (started at 6:30am) and Adoration of the Cross on Good Friday, Easter Vigil and finally Easter Mass. Throw in a birthday party for Damien with all the youth group on Saturday and it makes for a wonderful 4 days :)

More than 8 months in! Just over 3 to go and it will fly by so fast :( Prayers for all of us here as we figure out how to live this last 1/3 of our year; for the US office, current applicants and the selection process for our “replacements”; for our neighbors who go through this transition every year and especially for AJS as Rostro closes out its last year there.

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for all your support, thoughts and prayers.

Feliz Dia Internacional de las Mujeres!

Okay, so I'm a little late. International Women's Day was March 8^th. But I wasn't even aware of this wonderful holiday until this year when my housemate, Belen, came home from her Pastoral work at Hogar de Cristo talking about it, and I needed time to write this, so give me a break ;)

It is a day to recognize and reflect on other past and current struggles we women face as we strive for equality, our rights, and better lives for ourselves and our families. I was happily surprised that such a celebration was so widespread in a country that continues to suffer within a machismo culture. Nevertheless, throughout the day I received many hugs, kisses and “Feliz Dia!”s. Many people do not have the means to buy the women in their life something, but instead expressed their appreciation and gratitude for all they do and maybe even took over cleaning or cooking for the day.

My fellow volunteers and Sister Annie at Damien House surprised the female patients with a paseo to the mall to celebrate the day and the amazing, strong women they are. When a recent retreat group (shout out to Fordham U!) visited Padre Damien, they asked the female patients to give 3 words to describe an Ecuadorian woman. There was some variance but every single one said, “Luchador”. Fighter. This doesn't mean you should expect the next Heavyweight Boxing Champion to be an Ecuadorian woman (Although I wouldn't be surprised. They are feisty!), but instead that they fight, every day, to put food on the table, to keep a clean comfortable home, and to create a life worth living for their families. It was interesting, listening to these unbelievable women listing everything they fight against and everyone they fight for and not one mentioned her self. Reminds me of a lot of women I know back home.

Let's not forget the best part of this day, the driving force behind my XX chromosome counterparts and the real reason to celebrate: HOPE. Hope in realizing how far we have come and therefore how much further we can go. Hope in every battle we fight, that it is leading to a time where they no longer exist. Hope for more love, more life, and more peace. Hope for un mundo mejor. (A better world)

So go love on the women in your life. If not for Women's Day, then just because they deserve it <3

Catch Up

So it's going to be a quickie but I have a few minutes and that is better than nothing, right??

So to fill everyone in a bit, back before Christmas I gained a new job with Rostro! I am now the Logistics Coordinator (LC) which basically means that I run the retreat group program in-country. I am in charge of putting together their schedules, supporting my fellow volunteers as they lead the groups, being the go-to point person and a whole bunch of other behind-the-scenes stuff. I was really able to dive in head-first as we had 4 amazing groups in the month of January. Talk about trial by fire! Through sick retreatants, last minute schedule changes, the rainy seasons (hello mud and power outages!) and having to stretch cars, it all went really well!! Huge shout-out to my fellow vols: without their awesome support and flexibility, it never would have happened. Thanks also to our groups! Assumption College, Boston College, Cabrini College and Manhattan College! I cannot believe is has already been a month (or more) since you were here! Since then, we have had two more groups (Woo! St. John´s HS and St. John´s Prep!) and Villanova heads down in just 5 days.

I am really loving my new job. I am finally able to use (and benefit from) my Type A personality rather than just get frustrated by how un-Type A Ecuador usually is :) I have joked with my housemates that it is like I am doing logic puzzles as I fit together schedules and plan things out. Yay brain workouts! Haha. I have also enjoyed the extra exposure I get with the groups (the people who come down are so cool!! and have sweet fresh perspectives) and all the extra time in Duran with the other RdC houses and meeting their neighbors.
So many perks, there has to be a downside, right? Well, there is...I now have two jobs, neither of which is in my community. So I am seriously missing out on neighborhood time. I am hoping that once I really get LC down to a science that will help, but it is still hard. I really miss my neighbors!!

The holidays were an AMAZING time here and I feel like they deserve their own blog or two. I am blessed to have been raised in a family where the materialistic part of Christmas was never the important part, so having an Ecua-Christmas with no gifts or much for spectacles didn´t really bother me much. The awesome thing was not how unfocused it was on gifts and show but rather how focused it was on the coming of Christ. I truly celebrated Advent for the first time (before my senior year of college - thank you Ann! - I had no idea Advent was a religious term...I only associated it with the calendars with chocolate!) and enjoyed keeping God´s Gift at the center of the holiday. We did Posadas, a re-enactment of Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, for the 9 nights leading to Christmas and it was my favorite new tradition. I hope to bring it home in some form. We had 3 Christmas Eve Masses (6pm, 8pm and 10pm). It was a long night but so beautiful and fun to spend that time with friends and our Ecua-family, doing Nativity plays (I was a shepherd...how appropriate!) and revelling in how blessed we were.
New Year´s Eve was a lot of fun, salsa dancing at one neighbor´s house before running to another one for the burning of the año viejo (a ´doll´ made to represent the old year), looking up and down the streets and seeing huge fires every 20 feet or so (and praying for all the cane houses), eating 12 grapes in the 12 chimes striking midnight for good luck and watching the fireworks light up the sky before sitting down to a 1am meal where we toast each other and cry as we look around and realize we are with family.

Had a wonderful retreat led by an RdC Alum, Colie, a few weeks ago that was just what a lot of us needed. God really affirmed me in the path that I am on and encouraged me to now address some areas of my life that I have never seemed to give over to Him. It had been on my heart for a few weeks prior and Colie´s sessions and material really brought it all out in the open for my eyes to really see and ears to really hear. So I am looking forward to spending some quality time with God and myself, working through those things. <3

Health has still been a rollercoaster! I got tested at the end of January to find out I had Giardia and Amoebas (again) and Giant Roundworm! Wahoo...no wonder my stomach wasn´t happy! Finally got rid of those and was feeling the healthiest I have since August when I got a high fever last Saturday and was wiped out with a potent viral infection. Gah! Ecuador always wins. So I am just now on the up from that and am hoping I have finally turned the corner and can be relatively healthy from here on out :) As always, prayers for our bodies and health down here are always appreciated!

So there is a brief wrap-up. Please write if you want to hear more about specific things! I don´t have much time at the Cyber but sitting at home in the evenings provides space to write letters :)

Miss you all and thank you so much for your support, in reading this blog, sending me letters/packages and most importantly, in prayer!! Please let me know if I can be praying for you in any way.

Oh, and shameless plug: Rostro is accepting applications NOW for year-long volunteers. If anything you have read here appeals to you, check out their website, the application and ask whatever questions you have!!!!  www.rostrodecristo.org

With Jair on the last day of Refuerzo before vacation!

At the Rostro Christmas Party with Omar (our guard) and his family, Eli and Elias

With Jefferson and Lady at First Communion - They were in my class :)

Our Christmas Card! Haha

Mt. Sinai Volunteers after our 3 Christmas Eve Masses

The whole crew! @ Sister Annie´s for Christmas dinner

Burning an ¨año viejo¨ with the Youth Group at our house

Just a quick reminder that I love and miss you all!!! I have just been crazy busy/sick so internet time has been limited. I am doing my best to get a decent post up soon!!!
Also, FYI: I have been putting my parents´ address as a return address for my letters so they don´t have to try to find their way back to Ecuador if I mess up the address or something...if you write back, please still send it to my Ecuador address!! Thanks <3

Madison Skogsberg o Megan Radek
Rostro de Cristo
Casilla 09-01-1024
Guayaquil, Ecuador, South America

Oh...and international postage has increased from 98 cents to $1.05!

Futbol, Pageants, Bugs and communism (with a lowercase ´C´)

Hello Everyone! Long time no write...I sincerely apologize! I never imagined it would be this difficult to be consistent with blog posts. There is so much I want to share with you so I´m just going to jump in!

Casa Don Bosco
Work is going wonderfully and so much has happened! Back in September, we hosted the Mundialito, a huge soccer tournament with teams from different Salesian Projects across the country. It seems like the futbol cancha is the only place they can forget/leave behind all the tough stuff in their lives and be like any other kid playing soccer. It was awesome to watch some good futbol, cheer on our Guayaquil kids and watch their eyes light up bright. They used our homework room for a ¨locker room¨ for the teams so we had to clean up a bit on Monday and I learned a new cleaning method! The kids hauled buckets and buckets of water into the room and poured it on the floor. Jefferson and some other kids then ¨swept¨ with brooms to clean the floor before pushing the dirty, trash-filled water out the door. I picked out the trash, the water drained away and we did homework outside as we let the floor dry :)
I definitely now feel at home there even though I still feel like I have a LONG way to go. The kids, staff and leaders know me,  I know my way around and am re-learning more and more math, social studies and computer stuff. The Madrinas (cooks) have introduced me to the delicious and not so delicious Ecua-lunches. I have enjoyed fresh juices, yummy soup, tasty salads and occasionally even a bit of meat, which is like heave :) On the other side, I have also ben served ¨chicken foot¨ soup, cow liver and stomach. I couldn´t make myself eat the stomach (next time) but I am not a liver fan. I even got a countdown from my kids (in English) to try my first bite...but it was grainy and overall pretty gross. I have also glimpsed hearts and kidneys in the kitchen so I am awaiting the day that shows up on my plate!
I was given the privilege to stay with Henry, one of the shelter boys, overnight in the hospital as he was recovering from surgery. He was a lot of fun and full of spunk considering he just had an operation! But that is Henry for you :) We played Monopoly Ecuador (all the spaces were places in the country. Cool, huh?!), I read him a story in Spanish and he hijacked my pillow I brought :) He is a great kid and it is awesome to see what else the Project is doing.
We also have 2 new volunteers, Miriam and Francisca, from Austria. They are here until January and are great with the kids. I occasionally have to help translate, but they are taking Spanish classes in the mornings and can hold their own :) Great girls. We celebrated Jefferson´s birthday on the 17th. I baked banana bread for a ¨cake¨ and kids brought cola and candy and decorated the room. It was a surprise and so wonderful! We sang (in Spanish and English), said a few words (like a toast) in true Ecua-fashion, and danced/listened to music. It was so much fun!

In the last couple weeks, numbers have risen to 45-50 kids (from 25-30). It has been awesome and a bit overwhelming. So we´ve split into ¨teams¨ by age (5-8, 9-10, 11+). I am with the 11+ crew and things are giong well although I really miss my little ones! Jefferson annuonced a paseo (field trip) for November 18th and so the kids are earning points for that right now (attendance, discipline, doing homework, etc). Everyone who has 100 points gets to go! It is a fabulous motivation tool :)
I brought glow-in-the-dark skeleton earrings for Halloween from home and wore them last week and the kids LOVED them :) I seemed to always have a kid with his/her hands cupped by my ear and calling others over to look. We also had a really fun dance party (with the 11+) since they had exams that week and were done. Picture middle school dances with the circle and someone dancing in the middle. It was very entertaining and I was dragged into the middle multiple times. Best/craziest part? We were dancing to incredibly inappropriate songs...but they were in English so I was the only one who knew that! (ie Shaggy´s ¨Wasn´t Me¨) Yep. Haha. But is was great fun being goofy with them.
I am loving it more than ever, but there are definitely bumps along the way. I have had moments/days when I struggle with why I am there...when the leaders give up talking to me because they get frustrated so I´m left out of decisions or the kids go to one of the Ecua-ayudantes when I am sitting right there already walking them through it. It is easy to look back and know my presence is important and my help with English indispensible, but in those moments ¨At least I´m here¨ just doesn´t help. I´m also praying for help with the frustration I have been feeling with a particular boy. He is older and isn´t studying. I work with him on addition and it is 2 steps forward and 3 back...We leave one day and he is solving the problems on his own, correctly, then the next day he gets every single one wrong and needs me to walk him through the whole process, including counting. I am at a complete loss as to what to do...it is an essential skill, I don´t seem to be helping and getting frustrated at that doesn´t help. So I´m trucking through and praying God will bring some clarity!

Community - Mt. Sinaí
Community has been full of life. I have been meeting new people, deepening relationships with those I already know and giong to awesome events.
I´ve gotten closer with a family we affectionately call the ¨BibKids¨ as there are 5 children and they all have Biblical names. They live right down the street and have school in the afternoons so I can hang out in the mornings. I help with homework, sing along with songs, play with hair, learn other games and I even gave one of the boys a haircut! It looked pretty good if I do say so myself! Just the other weekend, they invited us over and we watched Transformers 3 together and had popcron :) We were all laying across a mattress with the kids climbing in, out and over us the whole time.
I´ve been learning to make bracelets over ¨girl talk¨ with Valyria and usually spend all of my Sunday afternoons at her house. I view Monica (Valyria´s mom) as our Ecua-mom :) We have a ton of fun with here kids and she is amazing. She is always giving us advice, teaching us new things to cook and welcoming us into her home. It is so comfortable to be there.
I am also in love with LuzMaria and her son, Ricardo. I go over whenever I can to help with his English homework but it is hard as he has school in the mornings. Nonetheless, I have had a great time with them. They are such sweet, warm people. I spent most of a Saturday with them, playing dice with Ricardo, looking at family photos, and playfully being made fun of for having 2 boyfriends in college. (They were joking with me that I had 2 at once Haha). It is juts gerat to be getting to the point where we can do that with one another. On top of being able to joke, we are also able to go deeper. I have sat with friends as they have cried, telling me their struggles, was guided through a beautiful prayer exercise at a birthday party, had a reading from Mass explained to me line by line followed by a discussion of how big our God is and had a neighbor join hands with her kids as I was about to leaveto pray over my health and insomnia. It is a beautiful depth of relationship that I am excited to continue and strengthen.
With making these connections, we receive fun invitations. During the Week of the Family, there was a 24 hour Vigil in the next sector over where the Virgen del Cisne (Swan Mary) was also visiting. It was unbelievable! There were hundreds of people, craft booths, food, music and rosary or mass going on every hour. We almost got hit by a runaway firework (a tree saved us) and attended a Mass led by the Bishop! Our priest, Father John, was also a part of the proceedings and we saw a lot of our parish there. We celebrated the Feast Day of Santa Teresa de Avila (one of our churches is named after her) with fun and games and the Sinai volunteers performed ¨In the Jungle¨ from The Lion King. Pretty sure the Ecuas thought we were crazy but it was fun! One of the committees from Katie´s work at Hogar de Cristo put on Reina del Octubre, a beauty pageant. It was awesome! There were dance performances, a portion called ¨Typical Dress¨ which were beautiful costumes, and lots of intermittent dance parties between judging categories! It was here that I learned the basic steps of salsa! :)
Beyond structured events, we also get invited to things like lunch that turn into ¨Best Days Ever¨ to quote my housemates. After surprising his mom with a cake and cola for her birthday, we were invited to a crab lunch the next week at a member of the church music group´s house. We spent the entire day there, just hanging out and chatting, looking at pictures, listening to music and then playing ¨penitencias¨. Basically, you pull a piece of paper out of a hat that has an embarrassing act on it that you must perform in front of the group. Naturally, we were a little nervouse. Most ended up giving kisses on the cheek or goofily dancing for like 20 seconds. One person got to dance with a broom and another kiss the dogs. Haha. It was fun. Had our crab ¨lunch¨ at about 4:30 and we each had a whole crab. It was just sitting there looking at me...reminded me of The Little Mermaid and Sebastian :) It was delicious and an adventure as we had none of the ¨tools¨ we usually use at home! This was followed by more dancing until we finally had to head home.
In case you couldn´t tell, dancing is pretty big here :) and I don´t mind at all. There is a Festival of Dance coming up soon that my housemate, Elisa/Mandi, is participating in! I am loving becoming a part of Mt. Sinai and am revelling in the connections I am making.

Community - RdC Volunteers
Shrinking community down a bit :) Just like my relationships with the Ecuadorians are developing and changing, so are the ones with my housemates and fellow vols in Duran. We are really growing and have experienced so much in the last couple months! My house has been ¨messing¨ with things as we went ¨communist¨ last month and combined all of our personal stipends in a community fund. Apparently we are the first to do this and we managed to survive! It is a huge exercise in trust and also a blessing to be able to support your housemates in another way (financially) if they need it. We have also had fun with creative meals/snacks ranging form strawberry french toast to pesto pizza, caramel corn to donuts. (We had dirt cups for Halloween and that was pretty awesome!) The last few weeks, we have been dating each other (making sure to spend an intentional hour or more with your ¨date¨ that week), played Telephone Pictionary the other night (shout out to my Thetas!) and have grown close through ¨de-licing¨ and haircuts, surprisingly unrelated. Everyone´s personalities continue to blossom and we share more as time goes on and it really shows in what we do and how we are interacting. Wooo, go Sinai! (Below are pictures from our Halloween themed Community Night!)



Jack-O-Lantern Drawing Contest



Pre-Donut Eating Contest (with no hands!) ...video should be posted soon!

Post...notice the powdered sugar all over our faces!! :)

Not to leave out the rest of the RdC community, who I love and miss, I really enjoy when we are able to get together. In the beginning of October, Sinai hosted a Praise and Spirituality Night (as we are blessed with musicians) that we all wanted and needed. We filled the evening with prayer and song, enjoying each others´ company in the presence of God. The RdC vols are just awesome people, I love any time I get to spend with them. I have cherished Thursday nights at AJS, hanging out with the girls before ASP meetings. I got to spend some time with Arbs this past week and loved it too. I hope we continue to get together and grow as a greater Rostro community as the year goes on.

Anything Else/Randomness
A little more about me personally...my physical health has been a struggle for me here. In case any of you haven´t heard, I got ¨bug-tested¨ back in September and had: Amoebas, e. Coli and Giardia. (Exciting, I know) Took my meds to clear them out, felt better for about a week and my stomach is back to being grumpy. So that is a continual thing I am trying to work around :P Some days are awesome, others not so much. I was really struggling with my insomnia for awhile but my community supported me through it all and my aids arrived from my perseverant parents. So I am, mas o menos, back on track :)
A funny story about prescriptions...I had to go to the Entrada to get one of my scripts as none of our pharmacies had it. I left early for work, brought a $20 to break (really hard to break big bills here) and $2 change for bus fare. I get there and my meds are $21.25. I did not have enough change to make it to work and back so I had to go home to get money (30 minute bus ride) to turn around an get to work (late). I look back and laugh but it was not funny at the time! :)
I am learning so much about myself and my faith - what I need, what I don´t, what is the core of me and what I was because I needed to be - and ways to address that. I have found that doing the big monthly shopping trips for the 3 houses has given me an outlet for needing to feel in control, on top of things and accomplished as it is rare to feel that way in any other aspect of life here :)

That´s it for now...post to come on the medical group that was here! Thank you so much for your letters and prayers!!! They mean so much and letters from home (and writing replies) gives me life and fills me with joys. Muchas Gracias! I´ll leave you with a few things:
⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited. ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:
   “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
   if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
 ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
---Romans 12:9-21
Matt led a Spirituality Night with this verse and we pulled ¨The Heart¨ of our community from it :)

And a quote from the awesome Henri Nouwen, courtesy of Bernadette (Belén):
¨One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are. When we become aware that our stuttering, failing, vulnerable selves are loved even when we hardly progress, we can let go of our compulsion to prove ourselves and be free to live with others in a fellowship of the weak.¨

What is Prayer?: A Reflection

Written September 9th

Obviously, as a faith-based program, a lot of our days and discussions revolve around spirituality, our walks and experiences in faith. Part of this is structured, like our daily evening prayer and spirituality nights, while some is more organic. As we have now been through a couple weeks with every housemate having led prayer in their own way and talking about when they feel closest to God, it has made me ponder the question: What is prayer? I know there are a million resources our there and I´m not sure there is actually an answer...at least not a ¨right¨ or ¨definite¨ one. So below you will find my reflection on the question, not my answer to it.

It is an interesting questions and an important one to figure out, at least for your own spirituality and discovering how it is going to fit into your life. I also believe that it is a very different question than ¨How do I pray?¨ and should be the first to be answered. Afterall, how can you figure out how to do something when you don´t know what it is?
I believe prayer is a time that you set aside and spend with God. I believe it can be a moment as you speak to Him, when He speaks to you, or even as you are both silent, simply enjoying each others´ presence. Notice ¨time you set aside¨. I do not mean that it is something separate from your day-to-day life, in fact I hope it becomes the opposite, so engrained in your thoughts and actions that prayer is always happening. (But that is a goal to strive for and not yet a reality for most of us.) I was instead suggesting an intentionality. In my experience, prayer most serves its purpose (which varies) when I am intentional and aware that I am bringing God into that time with me.

I know that may seem simple (and a ¨duh¨ moment for some of you) but I think the foundation is supposed to be. It is simple to say ¨build a house¨ and another thing entirely to do it. Deciding that you are building a house is, however, the essential first step as it would do you no good to gather materials and start hammering things together without first knowing what you are building. How one goes about building is up to the individual and varies in traditions, personal style/comfort and the purpose.
What prayer ¨looks like¨ can vary in as many ways as the type of house someone may build. One of our prayer nights this past week was a self-reflection and one thing we thought about was beliefs we have outgrown. I have outgrown the belief that to pray your eyes should be shut, hands clasped in silence. I still think that is an option, but it is definitely not the only way. Think about the ways you spend time with your friends...sometimes it is one-on-one, delving deep, other times it may be with others or sharing an activity you both enjoy. I personally love just being with my friends, even if our primary focus is not on one another. Writing letters (or emails :) ), shouting ´Hello´ as you pass, getting to know their friends...the list goes on. When you apply this to your relationship with God, you can really be praying at any time. Spend some time talking to Him - verbalizing, thinking, writing, singing - and/or listening to hear His voice in silence, in His word, in worship. Do things you both enjoy (acts of service, loving others, being in fellowship, reading the Bible, reflecting on your day, using the gifts He blessed you with, etc) and just remember to include Him in it! You would be amazed how much He talks to you when you invite Him into your days.

With these things, I considered whether prayer was always an active process or if it could be passive as well. Reflecting on my experience (with God and with friends, to keep the metaphor going), it is totally possible to be passive in your prayer life, always letting God come to you. But I found that being active is more effective and beneficial. Do not mistake ¨active¨ for activity or doing though. I am simply suggesting you participate.

I hope this was mildly interesting, helpful or even a good reminder for those reading. I certainly hope it can be somewhat applicable in your life. No matter what this post meant or didn´t mean to you, keep praying! (Whatever that looks like to you :) )

I would welcome comments on how you view prayer and maybe ways you go about incorporating it into your life. Maybe I can use it for a prayer night here in Ecuador!