Back in the States...

Hello everyone and I just want to apologize for my horrible lack of posts in the last part of my year in Ecuador. It was a crazy time and I was doing my best to live in it before it was over. On that note, I left Ecuador, with 4 of my housemates and the Arbolito volunteers, on the red-eye August 4th and arrived in Idaho the following evening. I have been trying to settle back into life here while also seeing friends and family. As I have mentioned, I am pre-med, so I have also been plugging away at my medical school applications. Such a fun ride!

Along with that, my Rostro experience was made possible by a grant I received from the Kappa Alpha Theta Foundation and I am so grateful. As a part of that grant, I was required to submit a report of my experience when I returned. Below you will find my answers to their questions. It took me far too long to complete as 200 words is not sufficient (hello, this entire blog isn't sufficient!) to tell the story of my time in Ecuador, but I did my best. I thought you might like to see what I said.

How did this program/experience further your education or develop you as a leader and how did/does that development benefit you? (200 words or less) *

My year, living with the Ecuadorian people, cambió mi vida (changed my life). It influenced my world view, taught me more lessons than a similar amount of college study and enriched my life with relationships, people and experiences I never would have encountered otherwise. In tangible ways, I furthered my education in becoming proficient with the Spanish language, in witnessing poverty and the structures that contribute to it, in exploring theology with my housemates, neighbors and personal reading. I lived in a new culture, learning customs and ways of life. I developed classroom management skills and saw how children do – and do not – learn.But it is in the invisible, intangible ways that I have grown and developed that made this year invaluable and life-changing. I learned the importance of being vulnerable, how to love someone simply because they exist, that failure is terrifying, but beautiful and oh so necessary, the importance of the present moment, leading through action rather than words, what it means to live and work for the whole & not the individual, and the responsibility I, and everyone else born to any advantage at all, has to change the world we are living in.

What was the personal objective/goal you outlined in your original Theta Foundation grant application? Did you meet it? How did you measure your success? (200 words or less) *

In my application, I outlined that: “I want to grow in my faith and become closer to God, to develop meaningful relationships with my fellow volunteers and Ecuadorians, to gain perspective on poverty and living in simplicity, and use all of these things to grow into a stronger, better person” along with “a lesser goal […] to truly make a tangible difference in the [Ecuadorian] community […] that will remain after my year is over.”I absolutely believe that I reached my primary objective and in ways I never could have imagined. As I mentioned in my application, success in these areas is difficult to measure in ways other than self-knowledge and possibly my strength as a medical school applicant. As for making a tangible difference, I can only hope that lies in the hearts of those I interacted with every day. That is the beauty and struggle of Rostro de Cristo, we just ‘are’; we do not ‘do’ and pride ourselves on non-reliance, non-dependence and sustainability. All the growth and change is in the capable hands of the Ecuadorians, we just faithfully accompany them on the journey.

How will you use the knowledge/experience you gained going forward to further Theta Foundation's mission of reaching your fullest potential and/or making a difference in the world? (200 words or less) *

This experience developed me as a leader, Christian, sister, student and more, morphing me into a better medical school applicant and, more importantly, a better person. This development and everything I have gained will certainly help me reach my fullest potential. Right now, that potential appears to be becoming a medical student (and then doctor) with a broader worldview, a desire to serve my patients, recognizing the value in every human being and seeking ways to help those in need. Outside of my profession, as a friend, sister, daughter, and world citizen, my fullest potential is living a life driven by my faith, ruled by love and knowledge of truth. All of which I have developed in this past year.Within this, my vision is that I will work to make a difference wherever I am, however I can, with the insight I have gained and through my career in medicine.

How did your grant and this experience impact how you value Theta Foundation’s support of Thetas? The value of your Kappa Alpha Theta membership in general? (300 words or less) *

Having served as scholarship chair and CFO, and benefited from an undergraduate scholarship myself, the Theta Foundation’s support of Thetas has been something I have valued for some time. However, in those contexts, the Theta Foundation’s support was a small, though greatly appreciated, piece of a grand support system. Our chapter’s events were still a success without bringing in a special speaker. I still would have attended college and managed to have what I needed.In contrast, with this grant, the Foundation single-handedly made my year in Ecuador possible. I was leaving college, completely broke, when this amazing program and opportunity presented itself in a volunteer year with Rostro de Cristo with one roadblock: the required fundraising. Thankfully, I am a sister in the greatest women’s fraternity in the world, whose support of its members only grows after graduation. So I applied for a Foundation grant, was graciously awarded one and had the most transformative year of my life as a result. I have always been proud to be a Theta and now that pride is combined with an excitement for the years to come and what Theta and I can do together to help others reach their fullest potential and make a difference in the world.



I hope to post more here on my last months in Ecuador, reflections on how my year continues to change me and the crazy re-entry to the United States. Thank you again for your amazing support throughout the year, reading and praying. I never could have done it without you!!!

Amor y paz
Marisol

Just a little FYI...

Alrighty, beloved friends and family: Yes, I am coming home soon (August) and do know my flights BUT - for the current moment - am not sharing that exact date with anyone out of respect for my future self. As excited as I am to come home to you all, this past year has been an incredible experience unlike anything in the States, and Ecuador has become another home. So recognizing that this transition is going to be crazy hard, I am allowing space for what I may need, which could be to be completely alone with no one aware of my presence. Or not. Haha. I love you all. Bear with me. We´ll see each other so incredibly soon. In the meantime, please keep me and the other volunteers in your thoughts and prayers as we figure out how to do right by ourselves and everyone we love. ♥

Okay...I miss home.

Yep. It´s just one of those days. Nothing particularly new or different...there are two retreat groups in country (who are AWESOME by the way...go Xaverian Brothers HS and Fairfield Prep!), I accompanied FP to Nuevo Mundo & was able to see Chris teach a class for the first time, then headed back to Sinai and had a great chat with LuzMaria, one of our neighbors, and the entire time my heart and gut were/are aching for home. Who knows why? It´s a random Thursday with nothing particularly ¨homey¨ about it. But I would give just about anything right now to curl up on the couch with my family and watch Big Bang Theory (despite Mom´s protests) after dinner or go to Cowgirls´ and dance the night away with my girls. Heck, I´d settle for a MCAT study session with my fellow masochistic doctors-to-be just for an ounce of familiarity and home.

I knew going into this year that missing home was going to be a struggle. How could it not be? And I think I was/am surprised at how rare these bouts actually are. Maybe it is due to the fact that life here is so crazy, overwhelming and full that you don´t have a chance to really think about home or maybe that nothing resembles home enough to really make you nostalgic (which almost guarantees some extent of homesickness...), probably a little of both. And I´m sure part of it is also that we are creating a 2nd home here. It is certainly interesting to think about September and mull over the fact that I will likely be ¨homesick¨ for Ecuador...!

But I think it is the rarity, the unfamiliarity, of this ¨illness¨ that makes it affect me so much when it does decide to strike. I am not accustomed to it; so this foreign, sudden need/desire to talk to people from home, to see something from my first 21 years of life and it can really knock me for a loop.

So here I am, spinning around, dizzy from the punch and trying to refocus. Haha...maybe writing this will accelerate the process ;) Or it won´t and this post only served as a glimpse into another one of the twists in this journey. Either way, I suppose it was worth it!

God Bless.

I'm a Big Kid Now

Haha. Please tell me the Pampers jingle popped into your head when you read that title...it certainly did for me when I thought of it! But this post has nothing to do with diapers or commercial jingles so I will move on.

There are a lot of “events” people attribute to becoming an adult: buying a house, getting a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, paying all your own bills, consistently going to bed before 11pm (okay, that was a joke) and most would agree turning a certain age does not mean anything. You get the idea. But what really constitutes being an adult? In the above examples, all I see is financial independence. I guess what got me thinking about this was a discussion my house was having last night. Being only the 3^rd group of RdC volunteers in Monte Sinai and the first with retreat groups, we've had to be the pioneers in a lot of things, including policies. Last night, we were trying to determine how (and if) to open up the retreat house for community use. As the discussion bore on, I realized something: we were making a decision for others. True, we have 3+ months left and we could have been forming a policy for that time, but instead we were talking about and advocating for future year-long volunteers and the Mt. Sinai community. One might say, “Well this is a very long term thing, and you aren't staying, so of course you would think of others” and I would agree. But this conversation was only the light bulb for me. Looking back over the last 8 months, they are filled with decisions and discussions based on the impact on others, from people within our house to the greater community, retreat groups to individuals. This program and this year is so infused with an intentionality and focus on community (the greater good) that you are encouraged (if not forced ;-P) to grow up.

Last year, by the initial definition, I was living as an adult. I had a job. I paid rent and bills on a house and often went to bed early. All of this while attending college full-time, which I also paid for myself. The thing is, as a senior in college, everything I did, all the decisions I made, were for me. Now, as I live in Ecuador, in someone else's house that I don't pay for, where I do not have a paying job and therefore cannot pay for anything else (U.S. equivalent =living with and being supported by Mom and Dad with no job), I am closer to being an adult now than I could have dreamed of last June.

I don't think being an adult has anything to do with finances (except maybe managing them) but instead becoming accountable for your life and your decisions: responsibility, impact awareness, selflessness, and striving to create a better life for your fellow human beings. Don't rush into it; it's not for everyone at anytime and being a kid is healthy, for awhile. But maybe you've been fooling yourself with your 5-6 figure pay check, nice house and car that you've been living an adult life. If that is the case, I challenge you to step up and into something more because I can tell you there are children (in age), who I encounter every day, burdened with early adulthood, who could teach you a thing or two.

“Fun Title Here”

So a little update on life.

I miss my kids. A LOT. And now that Colonia is over and Refuerzo has yet to start again, I am definitely on kid withdrawal. Yes, I get a little here and there with neighbors and I was able to go to Semillas de Mostaza (one of RdC's afterschool programs in Duran) for the first time with our last retreat group, but it isn't the same. I have also now learned that Refuerzo will likely be moving locations from the Via Daule (an hour bus ride away) to Mt. Sinai. *expected excitement here* I am absolutely excited for work being closer (yay less travel time!) and having a program like this nearby so that kids from my neighborhood can actually go. But part of me wishes they would wait until August. Haha. *insert selfishness here* If we move, and it really looks like we will, it is going to be an entirely new group of kids - who I am sure will be wonderful and I am excited to get to know - but I have been waiting since January to be with “my” kids again...to give them huge hugs and talk about their vacation and help them with homework....to eventually say our last goodbye. On top of my own selfish thoughts and wants, those great kids who I worked with for 5+ months, who need Refuerzo, will no longer have that haven every afternoon and I have a hard time justifying that to myself. I know the Salesian Project works to reach the poorest of the poor and the rationale is that all the kids who go to Refuerzo at the current location can afford bus fare so we should be striving to be located in a neighborhood of great need where those who cannot afford to pay for a bus can attend, but those other kids are still in need and we are abandoning them. Okay, 'abandon' is a really strong word as my boss, Jefferson, does social work with a lot of them outside of Refuerzo, which I believe will continue, but nonetheless it is how I feel. Sooo....Refuerzo is supposed to start with the new school year (April 16^th – pushed back a week by the government due to the intensity of this rainy season) and we are still waiting to get the final decision from the “big boss”. I'll update when I know more!

Que mas? Well, we've had more retreat groups come and go :) St. John's Prep and Walsh Jesuit High Schools here in Mount Sinai and St. John's HS, Villanova, Fordham and Jesuit HS in Duran. I am continually blown away by the awesome people who come devote a week to experiencing our lives here, loving on our neighbors and friends, learning about the Ecuadorian life and culture and teaching me (and my fellow volunteers) so much. I am continuing to get a lot of life out this job. I love being able to be with the groups, hearing their observations and reflections, seeing kids light up when they see them and just being a witness to what God is doing here. The other huge plus, which I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before but I am just absolutely loving, is all my extra “big community” time! I have truly found 2^nd and 3^rd homes in AJS and Arbolito. It is so much fun! Each house has a completely different dynamic and it just so cool to be a part of that sometimes.

I refuse to say anything regarding my health as it hardcore jinxed me last time...so let's just say that I have nothing to report....Gracias a Dios.

Feliz Pascua! Happy Easter! Just got done with a beautiful, meaningful Holy Week. Holy Thursday Mass, Stations of the Cross en vivo (started at 6:30am) and Adoration of the Cross on Good Friday, Easter Vigil and finally Easter Mass. Throw in a birthday party for Damien with all the youth group on Saturday and it makes for a wonderful 4 days :)

More than 8 months in! Just over 3 to go and it will fly by so fast :( Prayers for all of us here as we figure out how to live this last 1/3 of our year; for the US office, current applicants and the selection process for our “replacements”; for our neighbors who go through this transition every year and especially for AJS as Rostro closes out its last year there.

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for all your support, thoughts and prayers.

Feliz Dia Internacional de las Mujeres!

Okay, so I'm a little late. International Women's Day was March 8^th. But I wasn't even aware of this wonderful holiday until this year when my housemate, Belen, came home from her Pastoral work at Hogar de Cristo talking about it, and I needed time to write this, so give me a break ;)

It is a day to recognize and reflect on other past and current struggles we women face as we strive for equality, our rights, and better lives for ourselves and our families. I was happily surprised that such a celebration was so widespread in a country that continues to suffer within a machismo culture. Nevertheless, throughout the day I received many hugs, kisses and “Feliz Dia!”s. Many people do not have the means to buy the women in their life something, but instead expressed their appreciation and gratitude for all they do and maybe even took over cleaning or cooking for the day.

My fellow volunteers and Sister Annie at Damien House surprised the female patients with a paseo to the mall to celebrate the day and the amazing, strong women they are. When a recent retreat group (shout out to Fordham U!) visited Padre Damien, they asked the female patients to give 3 words to describe an Ecuadorian woman. There was some variance but every single one said, “Luchador”. Fighter. This doesn't mean you should expect the next Heavyweight Boxing Champion to be an Ecuadorian woman (Although I wouldn't be surprised. They are feisty!), but instead that they fight, every day, to put food on the table, to keep a clean comfortable home, and to create a life worth living for their families. It was interesting, listening to these unbelievable women listing everything they fight against and everyone they fight for and not one mentioned her self. Reminds me of a lot of women I know back home.

Let's not forget the best part of this day, the driving force behind my XX chromosome counterparts and the real reason to celebrate: HOPE. Hope in realizing how far we have come and therefore how much further we can go. Hope in every battle we fight, that it is leading to a time where they no longer exist. Hope for more love, more life, and more peace. Hope for un mundo mejor. (A better world)

So go love on the women in your life. If not for Women's Day, then just because they deserve it <3

Catch Up

So it's going to be a quickie but I have a few minutes and that is better than nothing, right??

So to fill everyone in a bit, back before Christmas I gained a new job with Rostro! I am now the Logistics Coordinator (LC) which basically means that I run the retreat group program in-country. I am in charge of putting together their schedules, supporting my fellow volunteers as they lead the groups, being the go-to point person and a whole bunch of other behind-the-scenes stuff. I was really able to dive in head-first as we had 4 amazing groups in the month of January. Talk about trial by fire! Through sick retreatants, last minute schedule changes, the rainy seasons (hello mud and power outages!) and having to stretch cars, it all went really well!! Huge shout-out to my fellow vols: without their awesome support and flexibility, it never would have happened. Thanks also to our groups! Assumption College, Boston College, Cabrini College and Manhattan College! I cannot believe is has already been a month (or more) since you were here! Since then, we have had two more groups (Woo! St. John´s HS and St. John´s Prep!) and Villanova heads down in just 5 days.

I am really loving my new job. I am finally able to use (and benefit from) my Type A personality rather than just get frustrated by how un-Type A Ecuador usually is :) I have joked with my housemates that it is like I am doing logic puzzles as I fit together schedules and plan things out. Yay brain workouts! Haha. I have also enjoyed the extra exposure I get with the groups (the people who come down are so cool!! and have sweet fresh perspectives) and all the extra time in Duran with the other RdC houses and meeting their neighbors.
So many perks, there has to be a downside, right? Well, there is...I now have two jobs, neither of which is in my community. So I am seriously missing out on neighborhood time. I am hoping that once I really get LC down to a science that will help, but it is still hard. I really miss my neighbors!!

The holidays were an AMAZING time here and I feel like they deserve their own blog or two. I am blessed to have been raised in a family where the materialistic part of Christmas was never the important part, so having an Ecua-Christmas with no gifts or much for spectacles didn´t really bother me much. The awesome thing was not how unfocused it was on gifts and show but rather how focused it was on the coming of Christ. I truly celebrated Advent for the first time (before my senior year of college - thank you Ann! - I had no idea Advent was a religious term...I only associated it with the calendars with chocolate!) and enjoyed keeping God´s Gift at the center of the holiday. We did Posadas, a re-enactment of Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, for the 9 nights leading to Christmas and it was my favorite new tradition. I hope to bring it home in some form. We had 3 Christmas Eve Masses (6pm, 8pm and 10pm). It was a long night but so beautiful and fun to spend that time with friends and our Ecua-family, doing Nativity plays (I was a shepherd...how appropriate!) and revelling in how blessed we were.
New Year´s Eve was a lot of fun, salsa dancing at one neighbor´s house before running to another one for the burning of the año viejo (a ´doll´ made to represent the old year), looking up and down the streets and seeing huge fires every 20 feet or so (and praying for all the cane houses), eating 12 grapes in the 12 chimes striking midnight for good luck and watching the fireworks light up the sky before sitting down to a 1am meal where we toast each other and cry as we look around and realize we are with family.

Had a wonderful retreat led by an RdC Alum, Colie, a few weeks ago that was just what a lot of us needed. God really affirmed me in the path that I am on and encouraged me to now address some areas of my life that I have never seemed to give over to Him. It had been on my heart for a few weeks prior and Colie´s sessions and material really brought it all out in the open for my eyes to really see and ears to really hear. So I am looking forward to spending some quality time with God and myself, working through those things. <3

Health has still been a rollercoaster! I got tested at the end of January to find out I had Giardia and Amoebas (again) and Giant Roundworm! Wahoo...no wonder my stomach wasn´t happy! Finally got rid of those and was feeling the healthiest I have since August when I got a high fever last Saturday and was wiped out with a potent viral infection. Gah! Ecuador always wins. So I am just now on the up from that and am hoping I have finally turned the corner and can be relatively healthy from here on out :) As always, prayers for our bodies and health down here are always appreciated!

So there is a brief wrap-up. Please write if you want to hear more about specific things! I don´t have much time at the Cyber but sitting at home in the evenings provides space to write letters :)

Miss you all and thank you so much for your support, in reading this blog, sending me letters/packages and most importantly, in prayer!! Please let me know if I can be praying for you in any way.

Oh, and shameless plug: Rostro is accepting applications NOW for year-long volunteers. If anything you have read here appeals to you, check out their website, the application and ask whatever questions you have!!!!  www.rostrodecristo.org

With Jair on the last day of Refuerzo before vacation!

At the Rostro Christmas Party with Omar (our guard) and his family, Eli and Elias

With Jefferson and Lady at First Communion - They were in my class :)

Our Christmas Card! Haha

Mt. Sinai Volunteers after our 3 Christmas Eve Masses

The whole crew! @ Sister Annie´s for Christmas dinner

Burning an ¨año viejo¨ with the Youth Group at our house